BeReal.

This morning, I spoke in Fellowship of Christian Athletes at my daughter’s junior high school about real relationships. By “real” I mean genuine, authentic, your actual friends. The opposite of real relationships are fake ones; ones that are pretend, like imitation cereal or off-brand coffee.

Or more like gold. There is real gold and there is fool’s gold. For the longest time as a kid I carried around a palm-sized golden rock that appeared to be real gold. I would wash it, hold it, set it on my desk, but it was worth the dirt under my feet. I don’t know if it was “pyrite,” a mineral often mistaken for gold, or some other golden shiny mineral, but there are a few ways to test to see if it is real gold or not.

The US Geological Survey says, “Compared to actual gold, these minerals will flake, powder, or crumble when poked with a metal point, whereas gold will gouge or indent like soft lead. In addition, actual gold will leave a golden yellow streak when scraped on a piece of unglazed porcelain.”

So think about your life right now and consider who is pure gold and who is fool’s gold in your life today. I want to give you one simple test to see who is an imitation and who is the real deal. I want to poke you with the metal point of God’s Word.

Hebrews 3:13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

The book of Hebrews was written to encourage new believers in Jesus Christ to not turn away from following Him. Things got tough in the early church—trials came, tests came, persecution came, opponents came, sacrifices came, loss came, hardships came, but this did not mean that they were going the wrong way! These young believers needed to know that Jesus is better than all the ways of the old covenant, to which they were tempted to return.

The word “exhort” my be unfamiliar to you, but in Greek (parakaleo) it is a compound word that means to call alongside. So when you “exhort” someone else, you are calling out to them, coming beside them, and inviting them to live a certain way; much like how a coach pulls a player out of a game and gives some correction and instruction about how they are playing.

The words “one another” are words that often refer to the relationships of believers. So to exhort one another, is for two believers to speak into each others’ lives in such a way that both are mutually helped in staying faithful to Jesus.

Do you have friends like this? Who will talk to you like it is rather than just tell you what you want to hear? Who will speak up about wanting you to do what is right? Who will be beside you regularly but to push you on to do what is wise? Who will warn you about worldliness and challenge you to live differently? Whose life will be an example to follow?

Do you have parents who come alongside of you to help you grow as a Christian? Who talk with you about your relationship with God? Who teach you the Bible? Who ask you questions about your life, your heart, your mind, your feelings, and your relationships?

Do you have others in your life who exhort you to live for Jesus? Who ask you how you are doing and really mean it? Who are loyal and there for you to talk to at any time and about anything you are struggling with?

It is interesting that today one of the most popular apps kids use is BeReal. All it really is, is a photo of what is in front of you and a photo of yourself at the same time. You share you two-way photos with your friends once a day and see what your friends are doing, and looking like when they are doing those things.

Photo credit: https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/bereal-app-photo-moment.jpg

These are the most real relationships that you can have! They are worth the most, the most valuable to have. They are the kind of people you need in your life “everyday.”

“Everyday” you have opportunities to sin. And when you walk in sinful ways, it can harden your heart toward God and others. And sin is deceitful. You can think for example that you are better off alone, that no one cares about you, that you should love yourself more, that you are missing out on the world’s fun, that God is holding back something from you, that God has done you wrong, or that you deserve to give into your wrong desires.

Sin is deceptive. Sin hardens. Sin causes you to turn back, away from following after Jesus.

THAT is why we need to be in each other’s lives! That is the way real relationships are supposed to work! They see things in our lives that we don’t and they speak up!

I sat at Whataburger the other day talking with a young man who seemed hard-hearted to the things of the Lord. He was unteachable, argumentative, and proud. So I read him this verse and appealed to him like a friend. I was trying to come alongside of him with truth and love.

At the end of the day, you need to be this friend to others and not just wait for them to come into your life. Today, as you have opportunity, come alongside your brothers or sisters in Christ and speak the truth in love; exhort them to live for Christ. And if you are afraid to do that or you don’t know what to say, then pray! And seek God’s wisdom from His word about how to be that friend that is pure gold. And ask your parents or mentors at youth group how to do this better.

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; many are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:5, 6).

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

“The sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9).

Jesus was a friend of sinners who left heaven, came to earth, and lovingly taught us the truth alongside of us in life. He has not left us. He sent His Spirit into our lives, the Great Paraclete (one who calls us alongside), so that we might follow Jesus faithfully with others beside us in life.

My prayer for my 7th grade daughter and her two friends that were with her (and some 300 other kids) today…

Father in Heaven,
Your name is holy, Your kingdom come, Your will be done;
in our daughters’ lives on earth as they will be in heaven.
Please help them to be real with one another.
Help them to see the value and worth of real relationships.
Show them how to exhort one another daily to live for you.
If they don’t know what to say, show them Your truth.
If they don’t know how to say it, show them Your love.
Make their relationships authentic, genuine, and true.
Keep them back from insincerity and surface relationships.
May their love for one another reflect their love for You.
If any of Your little ones is tempted to turn away, hold them.
Send them into each other’s lives to warn in biblical wisdom.
Compel them to talk at a deeper level in the things of You.
Teach them the balance of having fun and being real.
Mature their desires, their conduct, their faith.
If one is slipping, use the other to catch them.
If one is falling behind, use the other to pull them up.
If there are doubts, help them point each other to Jesus.
As they walk together through life, may they walk with You.
Make their religion an everyday pursuit of You and others.
Make the spiritual depth of their conversation unique.
Draw non-believers to want to know what they have.
Guard them from hearts that harden over time.
Help them to see the deceitful nature of their sin.
Work in them so they can call each other to repentance.
Come alongside of them as they come alongside of each other.
Father, please help them to be real.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.